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You’ll meet lots of new people during your time at university, and may even enter into relationships, or have friends who do.
It’s important to notice and understand the signs of coercive behaviour and domestic abuse and how to get support when you’re in a difficult situation or want to help someone.
Abusive behaviours can also happen between friend or family relationships, not just between partners.
What is abusive behaviour?
In the simplest terms, coercive behaviour or domestic abuse is when someone assaults, threatens, humiliates or intimidates another person to either harm, punish or frighten them. It can take different formats and might not immediately be recognisable by someone directly or indirectly involved. Tactics will often become more frequent or worse over time, which is when it begins to become noticeable by others.
Some examples are:
- Controlling what you eat, wear or who you speak to, amongst other things.
- Preventing you from seeing loved ones or doing things that make you happy.
- Depriving you of basic needs, such as medical care or food.
- Putting you down or saying humiliating or degrading things.
- Physical, sexual, verbal, or mental abuse.
Abuse can come in lots of different forms and isn’t always physical or clear to see by others.
What should I do?
If you’re in a situation yourself, or know of someone who is, then the best thing you can do is to report it.
It might be difficult for you to do this at first, so reaching out to a loved one or someone who you can trust is usually a good first step. They will support you to feel more confident that you’re doing the right thing by taking action.
Your university will have a report and support scheme where you can file a report and they will investigate it. If a crime has been committed and you’re comfortable and want to take it further, then you can also report this to the Police.
Coercive behaviour is a criminal offence, it does not relate to a single incident or event but instead a series of incidents that occur over time and should be reported to the Police.
Domestic abuse is also a criminal offence and if physical evidence is available, then officers may take this to use at a later date against the abuser.
Keeping yourself safe
There are a number of ways to protect yourself in a difficult situation. If you’re out on a date or on a night out and don’t feel safe with the person you’re with, or you just don’t feel comfortable, then you can ‘Ask for Angela’.
This is an initiative which has spread far and wide across the UK in bars and clubs, with the sole purpose of getting you home safe. If you were to Ask for Angela at a bar, the staff will know that you need help getting out of a difficult situation and will call you a taxi or help you outside discreetly, without making the situation obvious.
If you’re in a more serious situation or have experienced abuse, then you should call the Police on 999 immediately and report the crime.
It’s also important to gather enough information on someone before going out with them alone or entering into a relationship. Make sure someone knows where you are and who you’re with.
Remember to add relevant contact numbers on your phone, such as campus security or the security number for your accommodation site. Put them on speed dial so that you can reach the relevant team quickly.
Keeping others safe
If you’re worried about a friend, then let them know that you’ve noticed something isn’t quite right. They might not be ready to talk to you, but just by letting them know that you’re there to listen and support, they might open up to you so that you can help.
It’s important to let them know that it isn’t their fault. Listen to what they have to say and acknowledge that it takes strength to open up about such a serious and difficult issue. Expressing their feelings is a positive start, so by encouraging them that they’re doing the right thing, you’ll be better able to help and support them.
It’s their decision on what steps to take next. Remember that they might not be ready to leave the situation or report it at that time, but instead it’s one step at a time. If they are ready to leave or report the situation, then they might benefit from a supportive friend to go with them and help them through the journey.
You’ll find useful links below, as well as the report and support processes for all local universities to our sites.
Sheffield Hallam University:
Domestic and relationship abuse
University of Sheffield:
University of Nottingham:
Looking after friendships and relationships
Domestic abuse and unhealthy relationships
Nottingham Trent University:
Other: